Why Me?

Trigeminal Neuralgia | Chronic Pain

When it comes to a Chronic Pain Diagnosis I think we’ve all asked “Why me?”

Why Me

Let’s explore “Why Me?” and Chronic Pain.

Injury or Trauma

87% of all Trigeminal Neuralgia diagnosis are related to dental or oral lesions.
For many it’s a dental procedure gone wrong or a head trauma such as a car accident or hitting the head in a fall but for some of us …
In my case; it appears years of trauma layering were the underlying cause. My history includes numerous whiplash events and a concussion that added to stress appear to have triggered my initial event.
Oral infections and Sinus infections are also leading causes.
For many the question won’t be answered until they are cut into. These nerves are the size of corn floss or less. Not everything shows up, despite modern technology
Buddha. Peace. Relax. Trigeminal Neuralgia.
How do we heal from these traumas? I believe it’s by placing our personal care into our daily routines and by finding our voice to be self advocates.


A common component of chronic pain sufferers. If you weren’t under stress before the pain you are going to be now. Stress has so many effects on our body, our thoughts and feelings, and our behavior. Being able to recognize common stress symptoms can help you manage them.
Stress that’s left unchecked can contribute to many health problems, such as stroke, high blood pressure, chronic pain, heart disease, obesity and diabetes.
Personal Care
How do we reign in stress and manage chronic pain? I believe the answer is in how we manage our personal care. We’ve all heard of “self-care” but that’s a bit different than personal care. 

As we navigate chronic pain it becomes more difficult to maintain our personal care routines and often I find clients haven’t had established routines and often put themselves on the lowest rung of the care ladder.

  • Are you the one who does for everyone and often leave yourself to last?
  • Are you the person who is told they are selfish for putting their care in the light, in anyway?
  • Are you guilted and shamed for wanting to do things for yourself that everyone else is “allowed” without comment?
  • Do you feel overly questioned about how things are happening or going?
  • Is there pressure that you can do better or try harder?
  • Are you hearing the old adage “pull yourself up by the boot straps”?
  • Are you being compared to others?
  • Are you comparing yourself to others?
  • Are your choices being dissected and negated as poor or stupid?

I’m expecting a lot of “Yes, I am” to the above questions.
And that "Yes, I am" I believe has played a major part in your journey to pain.

These are all things that distract us from personal care and silence our voice.
They are unkind and harmful.
To take control of our pain we must learn to reclaim our voices.

So What Do We Do?

We begin the change that will bring us back to ourselves.

Stop the Chatter

We take steps and plan the course to put the lid on passive aggressive and abusive chatter within ourselves and our environments.
We find the “Beauty in Me – You – Us” and claim it back.

Reclaim Our Voices

- - Advocate for Ourselves

We speak up, I’ll teach you how to move in grace despite frustration.

Personal Care First
- - Stop Over Extension
- - Balance Emotional Labor
- - Encourage Ourselves

We stop the emotional labor over extension. We work on our own needs and personal care first. I’ll teach you how to begin to manage your team at work and at home, deflect guilt back to the sender and put shame into the bin where it belongs.

We allowed our personal needs to get lost in our constructed obligations to others and finally we broke. We literally wore ourselves out, stressed ourselves out and as anything that’s placed under constant stress – we crumbled.

Our bodies said “no” in a way we couldn’t push away any longer.

ShelleyRae O’Connor

Health & Wellness Coach
  • Transformative Coaching
  • Health Coaching
  • Life Coaching
Health & Wellness Coaching – Specialties: Chronic Pain & Trigeminal Neuralgia | SOS Lifestyle

Dahlia Gardener

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Tel: 707.456.7863

Based in Sonoma County CA, available everywhere.

Contact ShelleyRae with any coaching questions:
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